Anyone in a “blended situation” deal with this crap?

Discussion in 'The Duck Hunters Forum' started by seiowa, May 13, 2018.

  1. num70

    num70 Elite Refuge Member

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    Complete straw man. The custodian submits to no service level agreement, (any more than any other parent does, which is basically to make sure your kid doesn't die.)

    "Each parent provides money AND an expense listing to a third party who administers the escrow for the kids. That way, there is oversight on how the funds are spent." So you want additional administrative staff? More bureaucracy? Who's paying for that? Not me, I hope. If they take it out of support, there won't be a single cent left for the kid. You know as well as I that a system like that would NEVER run in the black.

    And again...Nothing has changed. These were the rules on the day you didn't pull out. You knew what the potential pitfalls were.

    [​IMG]
     
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  2. salthunter

    salthunter Moderator Moderator

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    Ive had a lot of students over the years whose parents split. I have never seen a "good" system in place. I have never seen a good solution that truly was fair and best for the kids. Or for both parents,.

    And sometimes, some parents are best to not be a part of their child's life until they get their own act together.
     
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  3. buck_master_2001

    buck_master_2001 Elite Refuge Member

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    Yup. That’s why although frustrating, it’s best just to accept it and move on.
     
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  4. TheDuckSlayer

    TheDuckSlayer Elite Refuge Member

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    diapers and formula ain’t cheap :l
     
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  5. num70

    num70 Elite Refuge Member

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    So the system is working exactly as intended. Nobody's riding you for not paying support. You're paying it and doing the right thing. Your daughter is (unfortunately and as with all parental relationships, married or not) bearing the brunt of her mother's questionable decision making. (i.e. to keep pumping out kids if money is tight). You're not legally required to dig into your pocket any further. Does it suck having a wife/ex-wife who makes questionable decisions? Certainly. No question. But that happens to married as well as divorced-parent kids. And just like when you were still married, unless she's shooting dope or beating your daughter, there's damn little you can do about it.

    I'm not saying it's good. I'm saying that the same rules apply either way.
     
  6. buck_master_2001

    buck_master_2001 Elite Refuge Member

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    All I could think about is what her lawyer told me years ago. That I’m not required to pay anything else but my child support. That’s crap and that’s not possible.

    For the record my ex is a good mom and we get along good for the most part. Her and her husband keep separate bank accounts apparently and just bought a giant new house which is a whole different discussion. Like I said, 7 more years of this and I’m all done.
     
  7. stevena198301

    stevena198301 Elite Refuge Member Supporting Member

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    My scenario also. We live 3 hours apart. She moved as soon as we split, and enrolled them in the schools there (timing lined up great for her). Joint legal custody with her being the custodial parent was the only option, since she refused to let me have them live with me full time. She has violated the “legal custody” part so many times it’s ridiculous, and the judge just rolls his eyes and does nothing. She moved 9 times the first 3 years, and I learned of 3 of the moves when I was going to pick the kids up and she said “we live at “XYZ“ now, so come pick them up here”. By AL law, she has to give me 45 days written notice, which she never has, 10 moves total now. The judge warned her on the 6th move that she better not do it again, then did nothing when she kept doing it.
     
  8. lax

    lax Elite Refuge Member

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    A divorce decree and good lawyer makes a big difference. When I went through my divorce, 50% of CS was put into an account for further education, she could live in our house, but had to pay me rent based on 50% of the mortgage. I had to pick my sons up for visitation, she had to pick them up afterwards. When summer vacation came around, we alternated years for physical custody and tax deduction. I emphasized the 50/50 with my lawyer and she pushed it through.
     
  9. buck_master_2001

    buck_master_2001 Elite Refuge Member

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    I tried pushing something like that for college. I was told that I should be lucky that I don’t have to help pay towards daycare as she worked at daycare(in Michigan the father has to pay daycare on top of CS!). I didn’t want to fight it and left it at that. We also alternate years for taxes which was a battle and we both are easy going about everything else. I have her every weekend but I’m also understanding that her mom will want her on some weekends and we make holidays work on our own. Overall my situation isn’t too bad compared to many others. I worked offshore oil rigs for many years and as you can imagine many guys went through divorce and paid alimony and CS. Some of their situations were insane. My old Toolpusher from Alabama was paying over $4k/month in alimony and CS all because she screwed around on him. Screw that.
     
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  10. seiowa

    seiowa Elite Refuge Member

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    Got sent this today and thought it pertinent to this thread: dr phil.jpg
     
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